We know that breastfeeding struggles can intensify postpartum depression and anxiety. The following is a story about how weaning can also impact our emotional distress. The author, Cat Halek is a local IBCLC and the Education Chair on our Board. She wants everyone to know that we support all moms, no matter how they feed their babies!  Happy Breastfeeding Month!

Holding the umbrella,

Elizabeth

I knew I would breastfeed my son as soon as I knew I was pregnant.  There was no other option. I planned a natural birth. I planned a beautiful empowering birth. Then at 36 weeks my son was breech. My doctor planned a c-section at 39 weeks.  I showed up at 6:30 am at the hospital ready for my c-birth. I had grieved the birth I wouldn’t have.  Though, my son had flipped probably during a massage the night before.  I chose out of fear and pressure from staff and family to have the scheduled c-section.  Having my birth not go as I had wanted, I hung on to breastfeeding.  It became my "I'll show you" to the world. I sat at a week and a half postpartum in a La Leche League group and told the fellow mothers, “They took my birth from me, but no one will take breastfeeding from me.”  

After my pregnancy depression, I and everyone else was relieved that I didn’t suffer from post partum depression.  The oxytocin from breastfeeding made me feel over the moon for my son.  I was blissed out and in heaven feeding him.   I set small accomplish-able goals for breastfeeding.  First I set my goal for 6 weeks.

Then at 6 weeks I made my next goal to reach 6 months, and reached it! At 10 months I went back to work as a Peer Counselor at WIC.  I completed extensive training on breastfeeding. I worked with women who were breastfeeding 3 and 4 year olds.  I came to believe that allowing a child self wean was optimal weaning.  
What I hadn't know and what many people don’t understand is that weaning is a very long process.  The first bottle of something other than breastfeeding is the beginning of weaning.  Starting solids is also the beginning of weaning. Weaning is the process of transitioning from breastfeeding for table food, it is not the immediate end to breastfeeding. 

I made it to a year of breastfeeding Ian.  I had unlimited access to my IBCLC mentors and peer support from La Leche League and my fellow Peer Counselors.  I remember talking to Daniel, my husband about my new goal to make it to 2 years of breastfeeding.  I never knew the challenges and issues I would have from weaning and what mother led weaning would feel like.  All I learned about was child led weaning; La leche League's advice of "don’t offer, don’t refuse". He said he would support me but was shocked by my choice.

Breastfeeding with large breasts and a toddler that could care less about your feelings of flashing your entire breast at the world is not for the faint of heart. Breastfeeding one-year old Ian was a display of nursing gymnastics. Around thirteen months, I started feeling terribly uncomfortable nursing my older child in public. I literally felt like Ian was holding my large breast and showing it off to onlookers when he took nursing breaks. This led to a feeling of Ian violating me by presenting my breast to others was definitely tied to my history of sexual abuse, but it was uncomfortable nonetheless.

That was my first thought of "HMMMM, maybe I want to wean him earlier."  I started explaining the difference of breastfeeding in the car and at home vs breastfeeding anywhere, anytime to my toddler.

Around 14 months, I began feeling resentful and trapped while nursing Ian to sleep and during night nursing sessions.  I would be trying to pretend to sleep while getting Ian to sleep.  But my heart wasn’t in it.  I felt pissed at my husband and pissed at my son for trapping me into being still, boob out, and frankly not feeling in control of my own body.  

My husband, after some prodding, took over bedtime.  It took about a month to get Ian off the boob for falling asleep and then a natural progression to him not nursing at night But we did it.   

As he night weaned I started to enforce the boundry of only nursing at home on the couch or in the car.  He adjusted beautifully to this.  He would pull my pants leg and ask to go to the car or couch because he was ready to nurse.  He would be fine with leaving what ever we were doing to go nurse in the agreed upon places.  Keep in mind Ian n talking since 9 months and could speak in sentences at this time.  Not every child could understand or verbalize these needs and adjust

At 20 months I stopped offering the breast at all.  When he would ask for mum mums I would offer him a hug, a snack, or a drink.  Also I would change positions and attempt to distract him with activities.  If he would get really upset I would give in but over the next 4 months he weaned to  2 to 3 breastfeeding seessions a day.  I was doing ok and so was he.  

The menstrual cycle  that started 2 weeks after Ian’s 2nd birthday hit me hard the first day.  My nipples were painful and sensitive.  I was emotionally and physically drained.  I was over anyone having access to my breasts.  

Dan came home that day.  Ian came over to nurse.  I offered him everything to distract and get him to change focus.  He kept crying.  I looked at Daniel and told him this is my last day breastfeeding I just cant do it any more.  Daniel took Ian and told me to go lay down.  I curled into a hormonal crying ball of mess and let Daniel take over parenting that night.  

The first month of not breastfeeding felt pretty good.  I could wear clothes I hadn’t worn since Ian was born. I had my body back.  I had successfully weaned a child.  I was proud of myself.  My peers couldn’t believe that I mother weaned in such a great way.  

A few weeks later I had to go to work.  I went to the store to pick up some lunch before going and teaching a breastfeeding class.  I started feeling emotional and anxious in the store.  By the time I made it to the car, I could not stop sobbing; full body ugly cry in the middle of a target parking lot.  I finally got calm enough to look at the clock. I was 20 minutes late to work.  I called my boss.  I couldn't stop the tears while explaining I just couldn’t get to work that day.  There was no one to take over the breastfeeding class for me so I powered through and left afterwards.  I was so distraught.  I knew something wasn’t right.  

The sobbing and sensitivity didn’t stop that day.  It continued.  It interfered with everything.  Finally I decided to see my doctor and schedule a counseling appointment through EAP at my job.  I saw my primary care provider to see about adjusting my thyroid hormone.  She had been resistant to prescribing certain medications until I fully weaned Ian.  Since I had weaned my provider felt comfortable to  prescribe a different thyroid medicine and told me I may be having issues related to weaning and it changing my hormones. That was the first time I had even thought of weaning depression as a possible culprit.

I was under the impression that weaning depression was something that happened to moms that stopped breastfeeding abruptly and early, not to some one who had weaned gradually over a year.  I breastfed only 2 or 3 times a day how on earth could this gentle transition from 2 sessions a day for 5 minutes down to zero breastfeeding cause this emotional response!?  

When I discussed with peers and friends that I was suffering weaning depression they told me I could go back to breastfeeding.  I didn’t want to start breastfeeding again I needed people to understand that my hormones were going haywire and that it was triggering a major depressive episode. I didn’t want to hear that I hadn’t made the right choice.  I needed to hear that I could live a new normal with out breastfeeding and still be a good mom.  

My counselor I chose to start seeing was exactly what I needed.  She understood that this was a specific issue and I didn’t need to be told to wait it out until my hormones regulated.  My counselor Rachel Haskell was the person who let me know I could cope while my hormones regulated and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  While I was in the dark of middle of the tunnel our counseling sessions became the flashlight I needed to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.  

I am here.  My son is 6 years old.  I have accepted the Bipolar 2 diagnosis, the counseling and medication recommended for treatment is what I have to do for myself.  I have to be the best I can be so I can be a mom and wife.  Having prenatal and weaning distress where only my life and future weren’t the only thing to consider is what I need to continue to push through the dark into the light.  It got me to accept my history and understand that unlike other mothers where perinatal mood distress may only be a temporary hormone induced issue,  My story would be ongoing of seeking out medication, peer support and therapy for the rest of my life.  

I want all moms to know that breastfeeding is your child's first intimate relationship.  Setting boundaries and allowing yourself to put your needs at time above your child when appropriate is teaching them about how to treat their future partners.  I know that my weaning and prioritizing myself enough to get and continue treatment is going to make my son be a better partner.  ​

The following blog post is the story of a guest blogger. It is a heart-wrenching story of birth trauma and taking it one moment at a time.  
Thank you Megan for your strength and willingness to open up about your experiences. 

Holding the Umbrella,
Elizabeth 

Nothing went as expected! I couldn't breastfeed, I couldn't get up and care for my baby; I couldn't even care for myself! I expected to fall instantly in love with this little human I helped create and be in this perfect bubble of joy and bliss and smiles. Well someone burst my bubble! Instead I was filled with pain, sadness, and guilt. I had a friend that delivered about a month after me and when I asked how her delivery went she said it was splendid and she loved it. 

What?? What was wrong with me then? I never expected to feel this way but I did. I had to leave the hospital with an external drain coming out of my kidney because they could not operate to repair the ureter until I had healed from the c-section. I had what is called a nephrostomy tube and I had it for 8 long weeks. One of the hardest parts for me was the constant physical reminder of what I was going through. It was bad enough that I was in pain from the C-section and also from trying to delivery vaginally but the tube coming out of my kidney was a whole new pain.

​I couldn't get up without help, I could barely walk. When Ella cried, I couldn't get up and take care of her. It was always kind of an unspoken rule between my husband and I that I would be the primary caregiver for the baby. ​

This can be pretty scary really!  

*** Resume Reading Here***
​
Then I remember how brave I was to get help.  How important it was for me and my children that I sought medical treatment.  That I let go of my ego and stopped trying to "power" through.  By getting treatment, I took a huge step to reduce these risks and improve the health of my children.  This is the thread I hold onto when the guilt starts trying to eat me alive.  My saving grace.  

So to focus on the positives, I am sharing a few images of my beautiful, healthy children. Please feel free to share yours too!

Splashing in puddles with the kids,


Elizabeth 

Something Rebecca and I have in common is that we have both have a background as a labor doula (her much more so than I).  So we have witnessed the amazing and beautiful revolution focusing on empowering birth as it continues to take the country by storm.  Since we started having children, labor doulas have become more popular.  The suggestion of hiring one has increased in mainstream bump and parenting magazines.  And for good reason!  Labor doulas are incredible additions to the birth team.

                                                         
​We aren't trying to steal the light from the labor doulas nor negate the importance of an empowered birth, we simply want to extend that focus to the perinatal period, of which childbirth encompasses a day or two.  

If you are pregnant now, who is on your postpartum team? Have you created a plan? Have you been stressing about preparing for your baby's arrival? Did you know an antenatal doula could help with that?

If you are not currently pregnant, think back, if you aren't fully into the amnesia stage, you may remember more than a few times of self doubt, tears, or frustration; wishing someone who understood was there to help you.

Enter the postpartum doula.

I want to apologize for the lack of blog posts this month.  June has been much busier than I could have ever imagined.  
I need to thank all the supporters.  The Seventh Mom Project, Inc. was in its infancy only one year ago.  We showed a film, and we knew we had to keep working.  Thank you to everyone who has helped along the way! 

So why has June been so busy??  Between school letting out, a full day SISTER Mom training featuring Mental Health First Aid, and a half day Cultural and Linguistic Competency workshop with Tampa Bay Health Care Collaborative, we CLIMBED. Well some of us actually climbed, the majority walked a beautiful Florida path on a muggy Saturday morning.  

​We were honored to climb with the mother supporter of a climb leader from Vermont.  She even brought a gift, a book written by her daughter, Dancing on the Edge of Sanity. We used it as a raffle prize to share with our participants, but will be adding this to our library with our next order!  

Mrs. Florida Galaxy and her family joined our climb and gave a moving keynote address post climb.  We were also joined by Sarah, the founder of Postpartum Florida, our friend and mentor on this journey. She is extra cool because she brought cake.    

Thanks again for a wonderful inaugural climb in Tampa Bay! Please forgive us for our lack of posts this month.  We are working hard on a few big projects to debut in July!

Holding the Umbrella,

​Elizabeth

You know it's funny how things happen in my mind. Elizabeth and I really didn't have a planned post for today and we had just decided we were going to link to something else when out of nowhere it hit me.
Hello Earth Day!
But you see that's not where my brain stopped no, it then jumped over to planting trees, fun projects with the kids, then moms and of course "Mother Earth" and then the natural health and holistic health movements. Seriously if we've never had the opportunity to sit down and brainstorm together let's make a brain date you'll find my stream of consciousness, especially when well caffeinated, is really quite fun.

Now back to Earth Day- April 22- marks the anniversary of the birth of the modern environmental movement in 1970. Now if you're a history nerd like myself go click Earth Day to learn about this one day were twenty million Americans took to the streets to demonstrate their desire for a more sustainable environment. Hey I wonder how many moms were out marching for Earth that day. I don't want to get into a rant about various religious-political-social issues surrounding Earth Day or Creation Care Day or whatever you choose to call it. Once the gears in my head started spinning I really kept thinking of how the natural parenting community, or as we sometimes call it "crunchy mom" community often sees things, especially when it comes to perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. A lot of moms are concerned about taking medications, especially while breastfeeding or are simply interested in seeking more natural remedies for all ailments, including postpartum depression.
If I had a dollar for every time I saw a post in a moms group asking something like "what are natural remedies for anxiety" or "what oils are good for depression" I wouldn't have a mortgage to pay anymore. Seriously.

So, with this in mind, today I want to touch on a few complementary options for treating prenatal or postpartum depression and anxiety.

I just want to throw this out there, there is nothing wrong with deciding to take medication for mental illness. Medication combined with therapy is the most effective known treatment for maternal mood disorder.
As always, consult with your health care provider before starting or stopping any treatment plan, be it pharmaceutical or otherwise.

I also want to mention the value of Mom's groups, you know the kind where you get together with other moms with or without your baby and chat about various topics. Research has shown Peer-to-Peer support is an integral and effective part of recovery from maternal mental illness. It improves outcomes, improves quality of life, helps connect people to treatment, reduces severity, and is cost effective. If you are able to get to a group or even a play date with a couple of other moms, go for it. This may seem like a huge task but if you go, odds are you'll be glad you did. Let us know if you need information on motherhood groups near you, we'll be glad to share a list of resources.

Now if you are able to get out of your home (I say able because I know depression and anxiety can make just stepping outside a huge feat) you may want to consider what are called Complementary and Alternative Medicine or CAM. According to the MAYO Clinic, nearly 40 percent of adults report using complementary and alternative medicine. Doctors are implementing CAM therapies too; often mixing them with more mainstream options — hence the term "integrative medicine."
What is considered “alternative medicine” changes constantly because different forms undergo research and testing over time and tend to become more mainstream. To make sense of the many therapies available, it helps to look at how they're classified by the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM):

• Whole medical systems
• Mind-body medicine
• Biologically based practices
• Manipulative and body-based practices
• Energy medicine

Remember that the distinctions between therapies aren't always very clear, and some use techniques from more than one category.

Whole Medical Systems
A system is more than a single remedy, it's actually many practices or remedies that center on a philosophy, for example:

• Ancient Systems - around long before conventional Western medicine and include Ayurveda from India and traditional Chinese medicine.
• Homeopathy - very small amounts of a substance that cause symptoms to stimulate the body's self-healing response.
• Naturopathy. - encourages your body do its own healing and may include massage, acupuncture, herbal remedies, exercise and lifestyle counseling.

Mind-body medicine
Thought to strengthen the communication between your mind and your body. CAM practitioners say these two systems must be in harmony or balanced for you to be well. Examples are meditation, prayer, relaxation and art therapies.
I'd like to mention the concept of mindfulness and its power when it comes to motherhood. Mindfulness involves acceptance, meaning that we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment. Practicing mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.
Here in Tampa Bay, we have professionals that specialize in Mindfulness, Evelyn Ojeda-Fox of Red Tent Collective is one such professional. I encourage you to check out her Dunedin based business and ask her about services such as mother's circle, motherhood mentoring, even Craniosacral Therapy. Many moms rave about the mother's group that meets there each week!

Biologically based practices
These are dietary supplements and herbal remedies taken as teas, oils, syrups, powders, tablets or capsules. Using ingredients found in nature, these are very popular with people interested in using herbs in place of or in addition to prescription medicines.

Here's a brief article on herbal treatment for anxiety courtesy of the MAYO clinic. I'd like to point out the importance of knowing potential side effects and adverse reactions to herbals and please use caution if you are breastfeeding.
​
If you're interested in learning more about using herbs or many other holistic options, our friend and supporter De'Nicea Hilton, DOM, AP, holds a Masters of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine is certified as a diplomat of Oriental Medicine with a thorough knowledge of Acupuncture and Point Location, Biomedicine and Chinese Herbology. Dr. D as she is affectionately called recently shared more information with us about her practice and working with women experiencing in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. She offers appointments in both Clearwater and Temple Terrace. The Seventh Mom Project, Inc. is looking forward to inviting Dr. D to join our Temple Terrace Peer-to Peer support group coming soon!

Manipulation and body-based practices
Chiropractic and osteopathic manipulation and massage are examples.
Sometimes the simple luxuriousness of a massage or the relaxation that comes with a visit to the chiropractor can do a world of good for a mother whose feeling overwhelmed and on the verge of burning out. Chiropractic care in particular is associated with relieving some of the physical ailments of postpartum adjustment. As an example, the hormone relaxin, which is crucial for loosening ligaments in preparation for birth, lingers in the body for 6 months to a year after pregnancy, leaving your pelvic and sacral regions vulnerable to misalignment and injury. Regular chiropractic adjustment is believed to help maintain stability in the region, helping you to recover quicker and more effectively. Dr. Shannon Whitlock, not only offers home and birth center visits, but she holds specials classes and mom's morning out events. Remember those moms groups I mentioned, find one.

A buildup of anxiety manifests itself in tense muscles-a feeling of stiffness and tightness. Hands-on massage therapy treatment can increase relaxation, while helping the body to grow stronger. For our friends on the other side of Tampa Bay, especially if you are currently pregnant, check out Melissa of Rising Lotus Maternity Services and over here in East Hillsborough, Anita Griffin Thomas is a licensed massage therapist who works with chiropractors, neurologists, immunologists, OB/Gyns and orthopedists to achieve the best possible outcome for their patients.

Energy medicine
Some CAM practitioners believe invisible energy force flows through your body, and when this energy flow is blocked or unbalanced you can become sick. Different traditions call this energy by different names, such as chi, prana and life force. The goal of these therapies is to unblock or re-balance your energy force. Energy therapies include qi gong, therapeutic touch, reiki, and magnet therapy.

Things to keep in mind
Many doctors practicing today didn't receive training in CAM or integrative medicine, so they may not feel comfortable making recommendations in this area. Bare in mind that mainstream therapies have been researched and tested for safety and effectiveness. Science based evidence does exist for some CAM, for many there is still a lot of unknowns.
Sadly, there are CAM practitioners who make exaggerated and sometimes outright false claims about curing diseases. If your CAM practitioner encourages you to skip treatment from your doctor or therapist be very aware. Mental illness is still a medical condition and it's crucial to ensure proper care and treatment. Large scale, carefully controlled medical studies are costly. Trials for therapies are often funded by big companies that develop and sell drugs. Fewer resources exist to support trials of CAM therapies. That's why National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health was established — to foster research into CAM and make the findings available to the public.

Talk to your doctor about risks and benefits of any therapy you're considering especially if you are pregnant, have other medical problems or take prescription medicines. Don't stop or change your prescription medications — without talking to your doctor first. Finally, be sure to keep your doctor updated on any alternative therapies you're using, including herbal and dietary supplements.

One thing I did not get into here is essential oils. Again there's just not a lot of research and I don't want to give unsafe information to anyone. So I will offer this, if you like the smell and want to diffuse some oils or maybe wear a special skin safe blend, go for it. Please be very cautious when using essential oils as injuries can occur.

In addition to essential oil use I did not talk about placenta encapsulation. I just want to touch on it real quick, since I have written about it before, while there is no science-based evidence confirming that placenta consumption can improve postpartum adjustment there are numerous accounts of anecdotal evidence from moms who have tried placenta encapsulation or placenta smoothies. I cannot tell you for certain that consuming your placenta will improve your mood, speed your recovery, or promote breastfeeding success but it may work for you. Perhaps even the placebo effect is worthwhile. We have been fortunate to work with many placenta specialists, specifically broadening their knowledge of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and are more than glad to help you narrow down your search.

And the last thing I want to mention, is go outside. Plant a tree if you like (this seems like a lot of work) or simply sit in the sunshine breathing in fresh air. Just being outdoors has been proven effective at boosting one's mood. I used to sit on my porch steps nursing my baby in the afternoons just to get my fresh air and sunshine fix and I felt great after each time. In fact, I suggest finding a great moms group that has outdoor meet ups and play dates because, well, outdoors is good for moms and kids. I can even help you find one!


Umbrella is open, today's forecast is a Purple Rain,
​
Rebecca

April is Cesarean Awareness Month.  Cesarean moms have different battles during their perinatal period.  It is common for moms of babies birthed through surgery to have increased baby blues as they learn to cope with their birth story. Cesarean birth also increases risks for more extensive forms of perinatal mood or anxiety disorders.  


Full disclosure, I personally, have not had a cesarean, but as a birth doula, I know the way the air feels tight when the decision is about to be made to move from the labor suite to surgery.  I also have seen the strength, determination, and love these moms have, and it's no different than any other mom birthing their baby.  

I find it fitting that Cesarean Awareness Month is followed by Perinatal Mental Health Week.  Having any unplanned surgery can bring havoc to your emotional state and mental health, let alone one that is responsible for safely bringing your child into the world.  

​It is common for moms that delivery via cesarean to have mixed emotions.  If you are a cesarean mom suffering with feelings you can't quite explain, or a guilt you don't deserve, I highly recommend visiting an ICAN meeting.  As with most things, discussing your feelings with others that have been there too can be healing.

It is important to be aware of how our births affect our sense of self.  It is a moment in our lives that will change us forever.  

It is so important to remember that birth, like everything is not a right vs wrong dichotomy.  There is no hard, fast rule.

We also need to know how our language can affect other moms. We have to drop the judgmental language or tone at the door, and be supportive of each mom's story, especially because life doesn't come with a rewrite option.  

I am going to link back to Rebecca's early post about Birth Shame because I feel it is applicable here again.  

I hope that we can all have more compassion for those around us and their stories.  Each walk is different, but we walk together, and that makes all the difference.  

To all the moms that brought their baby earth side via surgery; I know you are amazing.

Holding Umbrellas,
Elizabeth


Note: to support your local ICAN chapter and enjoy a good night out (SELF CARE!) check out MOMPROM!