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Loving your body after the baby.. part 1

2/25/2019

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Right after the calendar turned to 2019 the diet and weight loss challenges & ads were everywhere. Then, shortly afterwards, identity seemed to be a popular topic.

So, I figured now is a good time to launch a series I've been holding on to for a little while.
 
First let me disclose that I have held onto a very negative body image since grade school. Seriously. Due to many circumstances that were beyond my control, I was aware very early in life that I did not look like the girls on TV or in magazines. By middle school I had developed a completely negative body image regarding my weight, skin, hair, you name it, I didn’t like it. It took a lot of time and hard work to reach a place where I could say I loved myself and my body, yet there was always an extra 10 pounds or flaw to cover up.
 
Fast forward to motherhood and boom. I didn't gain too much weight during pregnancy with my eldest and I lost most of it quickly after he was born. But then the cycle of depression, weight gain, negative body image, more depression, more weight gain set in. Once I started taking medication I started eating poorly and in larger quaintly. And while my general mood was stable, my negative body image kept me from exercising or taking better care of myself. 
 
I lived in this pattern for the greater part of a decade.
 
Around my youngest child's first birthday, I sought a new psychiatrist, and began taking new medications. This switch and more precise diagnosis lifted the fog. I was motivated and ready to be healthy. I began eating better, but I still struggled with body image and I attributed it to my complete disdain for exercising. Until a mom's outing opportunity presented itself. 
 
I was invited and attended a pole dance fitness class with a group of local moms. At last I enjoyed getting sweaty and earning sore muscles and was having fun working out. I decided to jump into a membership and began taking more classes. I became determined to get stronger through this amazing method of strength training. 
 
I also unexpectedly met the most incredible welcoming, inclusive and body positive people I have ever met. No one in pole class cares about your size or your stretch marks. In fact, they will cheer you on and encourage you to love your body.
 
I realized that I had found a key to my own wellness through pole fitness and started to wonder how many others there were like me. Turns out there are plenty. I was added to several social media groups and became friends with women who shared their own journeys towards a positive body image with pole dance and many disclosed their own struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety. 
 
I learned about professional athletes and instructors like Cleo The Hurricane, who have spoken up for women and encouraged them to be proud of their bodies, especially as moms. 
  
I was further inspired by the courageous woman that declared "I let go of self judgment and felt the weight of the past few years falling away" as she shared her recovery from a traumatic cesarean and feelings of doubt and failure as a mother.
 
And as an added bonus, I learned about Pole for a Purpose, Inc! How cool is this, a nonprofit organization built by pole dance and aerial fitness enthusiasts to help other nonprofits.  I was so impressed with the performances at their most recent showcase. The art, strength, beauty and positivity were out of this world. Then to add to the ice cream sundae of awesomeness, they designated a portion of their event proceeds to The Seventh Mom Project Inc.!
I can’t tell you how fun it is to see the melding of my fellow umbrella holders and my pole family, and yes, the local pole community is really like a family. Collecting diapers for moms in need and cheering each other on to just keep climbing the pole and through motherhood. 
 
I share this with you today for two reasons. First because I want everyone to know it's ok to have feelings about your body and self-image but it's better to turn the negative thoughts into positive encouragement. 
 
Second, find your passion. Wherever or whatever it is, if you have an old hobby from your pre-baby days or are curious about a new one, go ahead and explore it. Your worth as a mother is in no way lessened by celebrating the different parts of your identity outside of motherhood. 
 
Until next time,
 
Rebecca
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Steps to Wellness, Part 3.

4/3/2018

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When moms contact me, questioning their emotional roller coasters during pregnancy or during their postpartum year, I always start back at the basics. The Steps to Wellness were developed by Jane Honikman, founder of PEP and later Postpartum International.  More than thirty years later, they are just as relevant to all people, especially new parents.

Today I am going to review steps 7-8.  Jane addresses practical support and referrals to resources.  I am adding treatment as step 9.  This is the step that after talking with myself or another volunteer, it is up to the mother to take upon herself. Sometimes treatment is clinical, sometimes it is not. This is for the mother to decided. 
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Once I have been listening to a mother for awhile, we usually go into what time of professional help she thinks she needs.  Here I offer her a few names and numbers to contact.

Referrals are not always for mental health counselors or psychiatrists, sometimes they are for lactation consultants, primary care providers, pediatricians, child development or parenting classes, postpartum doulas, and even great play groups or toddler friendly parks near her. 

We always invite moms to our support groups.  Our goal is to provide resources that fits the needs of the family.
In order to make sure we can enact Steps 1-6, we might have to call in the troops. Sometimes this is mustering the courage to ask our own mothers or mother-in-laws to help with housework.  Other times it is hiring professionals to do the tasks we simply can't get to 

Sometimes our partners or friends don't fully understand our feelings, but they do usually want to help in any way they can.  Accepting help is a skill many new parents aren't familiar with, but having a new baby necessitates the development of said skill. 

So next time someone asks, "What can I do/bring/make?" Give them an answer!
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Step 9 is my addition.

The first 8 steps are crucial and for many mothers alleviate most of their symptoms of postpartum distress. However, we encourage all moms to follow through with a professional evaluation.  This can be through a therapist or medical provider. 

Sometimes the resource first referred isn't a good fit for ongoing treatment, in this case, we will gladly help look for additional options.

Treatment looks different for everyone. 

If you or someone you know could benefit from the Steps of Wellness series, please share!  
To be contacted by a volunteer, please complete this form. 

Additional tools for families, including a Postpartum Plan, can be found here. 
More information about our SAMMI Support Groups can be found here. 

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Steps to Wellness: Part 1.

3/20/2018

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When moms contact me, questioning their emotional roller coasters during pregnancy or during their postpartum year, I always start back at the basics. The Steps to Wellness were developed by Jane Honikman, founder of PEP and later Postpartum International.  More than thirty years later, they are just as relevant to all people, especially new parents.

Today I am going to review the first 3 steps.  They are so blatantly simple, but so often overlooked by new parents as the demands of a new little one take their toll. 
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The first thing I want all new parents to know, is that you are not alone in feeling this way.  Whether you are feeling sad, hopeless, worried, or angry, you are not the first parent and you won't be the last.   It is important to know you are not alone and that it is not forever. 
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Around 80 percent of new mothers experience the "Baby Blues" during the first two weeks of their new little ones' life. Between 20 and 50 percent will experience a more serious condition, such as depression or anxiety.

These conditions are common, but not normal and can be treated. 

Once you understand a little more about postpartum mental health conditions, it is important to know that simply being able to make time for our own health can make a world of difference. This is obviously easier said than done!
The first thing I advise new parents to do to help manage their symptoms is get some sleep.
Ideally a parent can get 6 uninterrupted hours of sleep in a 24 hour period.
If someone is experiencing many symptoms of depression or anxiety, it is really important part of their wellness plan to work these hours in.  This can take some creative thinking and support from others to make happen. 
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Again, a simple step that is easily lost in the chaos of new parenthood.  Eating and eating to nourish your body. 
If you are feeling miserable, irritable, or cranky, think back to what you have (or in many cases haven't) eaten. 
Take the time to eat well.  It can be very difficult to see where meal prep will fit into your life, but once you are eating well, your body will have the fuel it needs to continue to parent. 
Aim for 6 small meals, covering all the food groups throughout the day. Easy to eat snacks are a hit because often you are eating over a baby's head. 
Work with your support team to make sure you are not skipping out on eating. 
If you are a new parent, and you haven't been taking the time to rest or eat, please do!  It will serve you and your family well to be fed and rested. 

Next week I will review steps 4-6. 


-Elizabeth 
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